Do you accept your self?

Today he blog is writing according to actualizing tendency and locus of evaluation. What is that? It is superconscious and internal wisdom, a source of fully functioning person and self-awareness by understanding and acceptance.

That is the most significant moments and experience, but not only in therapy but in whole own life. That is the time when we accept own self as a person, as an organism as a fulfilment potential in life, is that what Rogers called fully functioning person.

It is important to trust in the process and therapeutic work.

Rogers believes that human has one basic need to self-actualization, to achieve the tendency has to be in the state of congruence where self – image is close to ideal – self, another way the self-actualization will be difficult to achieve if not even dysfunctional.

“The organism has one basic tendency and striving – to actualize, maintain, and enhance the experiencing organism” (Rogers, 1951, p. 487).

A typical issue for an internal locus of evaluation from Dave Mearns and Brian Throne book is when Client expresses himself to say:

“I suppose I went into the job to please my father. It seemed to make sense, too, in terms of having some sort of carrier structure ….or “yes I have a feeling I married Jean because I knew my parents like her….”

The dialogue between therapist and the client shows significant evidence of locus of evaluation when the client realizes, that he is making the job for satisfaction of his father in law and the relationship with Jean is the only purpose for pleased them parents but not for themselves. In the end, that decision makes by the client could be devastating in the further because the job and marriage do not satisfy him. The marriage will be collapse and finalized by divorce. And lack of settlement of the work will be tracked to burnout and serval stress disorders.

That is the point when we find our ideal self, unrealized and unhappy, so we cannot achieve full potential in life and the congruence of self-acceptance does not be fulfilled because of one or more wrong decision in life.

To increase our consciousness of an ideal self is worth to remind of Maslow’s opinion about self-actualization where he believes that people need for personal growth and discovery own life in own meaning, depending on what is worth and important for them. According to the characteristic for instance.

” They perceive reality efficiently and can tolerate uncertainty. Accept themselves and others for what they are. Spontaneous in thought and action”

In the other hand, the self-actualized person, for example, will behave like a child, with full absorption and concentration. Trying new things instead of sticking to safe paths. Listening to your feelings in evaluating experiences instead of the voice of tradition, authority or the majority. Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” and his investment for education make a major contribution to work for teaching and classroom management.

As a human, we need to strive for full potential and step by step retaliate own self in own life from basic life, biological and physiological needs. From safety to love and belongs. From esteem, reputation to self-actualization.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers.

What is your opinion ? How value is the article for you?

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